Quite the opposite holds true. As human beings, as men and women, as gay men and women, as bears, cubs, or whatever group or community you identify with, this process of “identifying” is just that, an on-going process that brings us closer to at-one-ment with ourselves.
After hearing those words of wisdom I realized that I spent so many of the 15 years as a gay man trying to fit into a gay community that I identified with at a certain level; however, there was a part of me that felt out of place in "mainstream" gaydom.
As luck would have it my move to
Some of my friends found it funny, and still tease me, but in all honesty it was very therapeutic for me. My longing for 6 pack abs and a ripped body disappeared. Don't get me wrong. Being healthy and fit are still a very important part of my life, but I accepted that I would never be a skinny man.
On top of that, I realized that I could be loved as a thick, healthy man. Not only did I find my inner bear cub but I found my inner bearstud. This was quite a transformational experience.
So there you have it. This is why I'm here - to connect with others who might identify with my own experience. Moreover, I hope this forum brings newbies and veterans of the bear community together so that we could find our inner bearstud , our future huz-bearstud or discuss topics and issues relevant to our community.
Grrrrrr,
LatinCub
Posts
2 comments:
Hi. Stopped by to check out your blog. You sound like a thoughtful cub :). I like that. Keep on fightin' the good fight.
My bear and I were surfing the web and we stumbled upon your site while I googled gay cub. My bear, who is 20 years older than I am (27), said your blog post was spot on, he and I could relate to your post.
I came out to my parents at 25, both were unaccepting of my sexuality [we are an American Chinese family in California, though I am now in Toronto studying as a grad student here with my bear]. I'm still trying to understand my total self, some parts are still in the framework of society's community and its concept of what masculinity is defined as. At this time, I am independent of my family, and the choices I make are mine and mine alone, in some cases shared experiences and insight and speculative outcomes from my bear.
Interactions from friends is another issue I'm dealing with. My hetero friends, whom make up the majority of friends I associate with [current classmates and from the States], have an agenda that is similar to what society dictates in terms of social behavior, expections and interaction. The conversations are still geared towards prestige, power, and promiscuity. I don't have much to say when these topics come up, and I feel like my opinion is slighted, which affects my self confidence and morale. One of my goals that I'm accomplishing is educating my friends about the topics that matter to me, be it homosexual-related or not.
Another issue is coming to terms with my sexuality, and my friends recognize my sexuality. I'm still getting used to saying "my partner and I", and having my friends understand that my partner (bear) is an important part of my life, and having them recognize that is very important to not only myself, but my bear as well.
Hope I haven't munched up all your cubbie bandwidth from this.
Cubbie and Behr
Post a Comment